RJ 01/05/1989 Monday

RJ 01/05/1989 Monday

I’m exhausted! My aunt and uncle decided to make some changes to my bedroom and theirs. We carried books, the spare TV ended up in my room. Ouch! My back hurts.

Gustavo called this morning saying he had called last night to ask me out to the cinema. I doubt it! He probably called me and when he found out I had gone out, decided to say he was calling me to go out, to make me feel bad. He probably just called to talk. He wanted to make me regret going to the party and missing out on the chance to go out with him! Well, it worked!

My mother is something indescribable really (just finished talking to her). She still hasn’t given up her dreams. I, so young, have given up so many dreams and ideologies already. My mother was never rich but she had a house in Rio (inheritance from my grandmother) and she sold it to buy a photography lab, to go live in Mexico. Her house became knowledge, her masters. If I had a house I’d just live in it! She’s very different really. But I recognise that she is amazing but insecure (she confessed it) because she was never as beautiful as Zezé and the whole family always made that clear. So she decided to be an intellectual. And spent years doing analysis. Family can really destroy someone, thankfully I never had too much contact with mine. Thankfully I have no one to be compared against!