What my granddaughter said…

I’m keeping note of some of the things my granddaughter says…

16 June 2022
L: “Every time I come here it’s like going to a different world. It looks different, it smells different!”

25 Mar 2022
L has been following us around today, asking questions and taking notes.
L: “When did you get married?2
J: “2009”
L: “You got married 2009 years ago?”

Inteview notes
“Interview Notes”

14 Feb 2022
L loves to eat with her hands and we were, once again, reminding her why it’s good to use cutlery, but also I injected a bit of history in there…
Me: “Once upon a time there was no cutlery, but that was long ago.”
L: “Like in the 80s? or 60s?”

11 Feb 2022
Me: “Where are you from, L?”
L: “I’m from my mum’s tummy!”

06 Dec 2021
We were having our usual Sunday roast…
L:”What animal is this?” Me:”It’s cow, cow meat: beef”
L:”So, the cow got killed?” Me:”Yes, it did.”
L: With a very sad face “I don’t want to eat a dead animal!”

01 Oct 2021
“They split up because they were having too many bad conversations. I’m never having a boyfriend!” – good plan, girl. No boyfriends until 30! 😉

16 April 2021
L was having an ice cream and I asked her to sit nearer me, as she moved her foot got stuck under the table. She fell backwards in slow motion onto the floor. I jumped to try and soften the blow, my phone, which was attached to me, was stuck to the table. Somehow she managed to keep the cone upright and didn’t drop it on the floor when she hit the ground! After a second of surprise we realised all was well and just laughed a lot. She didn’t get hurt. The ice cream was intact! Victory!

13 Mar 2021
“When I grow up I want to be a choreographer, a dancer, a singer, a teacher and a doctor.”

6 Mar 2021
She’s been doing home schooling since January, thanks to covid…
“Grandma I’m NOT going to tell you what I did to my mum… She was naked with a top and knickers on, we were in bed, and I was doing my story time with the video on and I turned the camera on her and the whole assembly saw it!” [laughs very hard, as do I] “She killed me!”

“Grandma, when you fart you have to apologise to people because it’s rude.”

18 Dec 2020
Nanny M doesn’t drink tea or coffee, she only drinks tea water.

27 July 2020
Me: “Give it a rest!”
L: “It’s not my bedtime, grandma!”

23 July 2020
“I know everything, I’m an artist!”

11 June 2020
L: “Grandma, when you fart on lava does it catch fire?”
Me: “Yes”
L: *Explodes with laughter*

09 June 2020
“My bogeys are tasty, they taste like gravy!”

05 June 2020
“My mum and I used to be twins before, when we were children.”

14 May 2020 (4.5 years old)
L answers a few questions about coronavirus…

15 April 2020
“I want to be a butterfly when I grow up.”

12 April 2020
Me: Do you know what an avalanche is? L: Yes, it’s fruit that falls down.
“When comonavirus is over, can I do gybnastics?”
She’s staying with us and missing her mum and grandma a lot, yesterday she started crying because of it. She’s also missing nursery.

02 Sept 2019
Started collecting acorns from Oak trees to feed squirrels. Last Thursday we even feed a squirrel with them! Today we collected them and put them in the garden, in the wooden house I usually put nuts in.

27 July 2019
“I just saw a Doctor Truck!” (ambulance)

16 June 2019
Me: “What are you going to be when you grow up?”
L: “An alien!”

14 March 2019
Just after we woke up today… “J, what were you doing?” “I was in the toilet.” “You were in the toilet?!?!?! Was your head in the toilet? was your bum bum in the toilet? was your knee in the toilet? was your elbow in the toilet? was the radio in the toilet? was your meemee in the toilet?” She spent the next while asking this with all parts of body and objects, with each question a huge laugh, all the while demonstrating a better understanding of prepositions than J. 😀

04 March 2019
“Grandma, why is there a clock on the library castle?” – referring to a clock on a church tower.

14 Feb 2019
“Grandma, scrape your legs before you get in” (the house). ie wipe your feet

She’s been saying this for a while, with a silly voice, for about 2 months “Grandma, you crazy man!!!!” then starts laughing manically. She does it to J too. It’s really silly and very funny.

09 Feb 2019
“You’re almost not my grandmother anymore!” (when she gets cross with me)

“Give some pretend salt to straighten your hair” (she was brushing my hair)

“I’m making pink flower juice cake. Ingredients milk and flower dust and some curry.”

22 Jan 2019
Me: “Where is your new nursery?”
L: “It’s on Nursery Road, Streatham straight to Clapham.”

05 Dec 2018
“Finding Xmas” = looking for Xmas decorations when we are in the car.

“Grandma let’s go to Eddie Catz, I want to see him!” OK, so off we go. Will she be less terrified of him this time? We get there at 10am, after an hour she abandons me to play with 2 new friends. Just before 12 they announced he was coming out. She runs to the front, jumping and shouting ‘Eddie is coming’.

He comes out and her face turns from joyful to terrified. “Will you hug him today, L?” “When I’m bigger I’ll hug him”

Eddie does two action songs, all the kids and parents follow but L still looks horrified. When songs are done they form a queue to hug him. She asks me to go with her, closer, but then stops and says “I’ll do it when I’m bigger”. So I picked her up, same height as Eddie, but when he walked past and waved at her she turned her face away, scared.. Oh well!

Me: “L, you’re so intelligent!” she looked at me, very cross and insulted, and said: “Don’t say that word to me!”

15 Nov 2018
“I’m doing gibnastics gramma Tisha!” – whenever I ask her to get off some dangerous location/position, she pulls out the gymnastics card. I’ve been taking her to toddler gymnastics since Aug 2017.

“There’s a lentil on my clothes” lentils = label on clothes that make her itchy.

08 November 2018
“When the flowers come out it’s sprinkle!” after I explained Autumn and Spring… A little later she called Spring ‘Sparkle’. In the evening she said “Earlier today I called Spring, sprinkle” and laughed at herself. Then I said “you also called it sparkle!” “Yeah, I did!” and she laughed.

During dinner she saw an avocado (she’s always asking what everything is) and asked “what’s that black thing?” I said it was an avocado and said I really liked it. Then I said I really like olives too and asked her what her favourite type of olive was – “Pink olives” was the answer. “My mummy buys me pink olives” so I asked her to ask her mum to buy me some pink olives because I don’t know where to get them from. “My mummy is going to buy you pink olives ok? I’m going to tell her.”

“Don’t shout at the cars, grandma, they get sad if you shout at them.” – a telling comment on my driving 😀

“I’m not coming here anymore” Her standard response to me saying she can’t do something.

15 Oct 2018
“You’re not my granddaughter anymore” L got cross with me today for not allowing her to do something.

“I need a shortcut at the front.” (need a haircut at the back is what she meant)

12 Sept 2018
Whenever L finds a hair she asks whose it is, then she sticks it back on their head.

I’ve been telling L about trees (their names) whenever we go to the common and now she constantly asks me ‘which one is this?’

Easter 2018
“Grandma, is it Easter’s birthday?”

22 Jan 2018
2 year olds are possessive, but this takes it to a whole new level of irrationality:
Me: “Your dad is my son…”
L: “NOOOOOOOOO, he’s *MY* son!!!!” (at the top of her lungs. I nearly went deaf!)
L was an unexpected gift from life. I wasn’t expecting to be a grandmother for another 10 or 15 years but she arrived sooner. The most beautiful, funniest person I could hope to have the privilege to be a grandmother to.