Monday 13th December 1999 – Your First Birthday
I didn’t get called back for the interview and was a bit disappointed, but not for long. I just have to keep trying (I haven’t really even tried yet!). I don’t like being rejected though. It’s very disheartening.
Your First Birthday
Well, well, it’s your first year birthday today! How quickly it’s gone, I can’t bear thinking about it. Val came around and she had a video of you when you were 7 months old (from the barbecue at her house last summer). You could barely crawl and had no hair. It was like watching a completely different face, except for your eyes, which are still the same. Yesterday your grandma (my crazy mother) made you a cake while R. and I were out picking up a washing machine from Val’s flat (the one she’s sold). Well, the cake was not a cake but a piece of hardened concrete. Still you liked it! It was only a tiny cake. My mother is the most useless cook I ever met (it’s true!).
Today R. bought you a little baby cake, really cute, and some candles. You wouldn’t blow up the candles, instead you were determined to touch it. Your grandma Linda sent a parcel for you with lots of presents, but it didn’t arrive, which was a shame, hopefully it will be here tomorrow. We can always celebrate again, for the third time! Oh, Daniel, don’t grow up too fast! I am so glad in a way that I’m not working, or I would be missing out on so much. In fact I just want to work for the money. If I really wanted to work for a career I would rather be a vet or something like that. I hope your life goes more according to plan than mine did (well, I guess I never had a plan…). I always thought I would be a career woman, but look at me now: 28 years old, no job, living in a dump, no security. I have to keep telling myself that it will be ok, it has to be ok. A lot of the jobs in computing involve a lot of travelling for long periods at a time. Is that what I want? Do I want to leave you for that long? You see, that is what my mum used to do, all the time I was growing up, she was always travelling. And I promised I would never do that to my child. But I guess she didn’t have a choice. What am I supposed to do, Daniel? I really don’t know. I can’t waste much more time as employers don’t like people who have graduated a long time ago, and it’s going to be a year soon since I finished university. I am feeling a bit scared of the future right now.
Kita, my cat, might be coming back to live with us. I gave her to Dee last year because she was feeling a bit neglected, as I was spending all my time with you and she was freaking out. Well, it turns out that Dee spends even less time with her (she is always out) and Kita has been behaving out of character. She’s been pooping on her kitchen/bathroom floor. Well, done Kita! I bet Dee disappeared for a couple of days and didn’t even feed my poor cat. No wonder she’s freaking out. Now Kita doesn’t even let Dee anywhere near her, as she doesn’t trust Dee anymore. I want to go up there sometime this week and bring her back as soon as possible. I miss her like mad anyway and there’s always space for one more cat. Your father doesn’t like her, but that’s because he’s heartless, as she’s the most beautiful cat in the world and I’ve taken care of her for over 7 years now. With the car it will be easier to get cat food.
Your first birthday was a quiet affair, but who remembers their first birthday? Well, here is a cute photo of you on yours! You are 1 year old and I love you!