Thursday 05 August 1999
Your dad got the job! He’s really happy with it and has started already, but this means we won’t be going down to Cornwall for the eclipse on Wednesday. But there should be 95% visibility in London, which is cool.
It was my birthday yesterday: 28 years old! It didn’t feel like it though during the day, especially because I had to take you to the hospital again (more on that later). But Jo came to see me and so did Angela in the afternoon. My mum was also here, so me, your dad, Jo and Angela went to the pub for 2 hours. Then we came back with a bottle of whisky (of which I drank nothing, as it smelt awful), Francis joined us, my mum left (after you entertained us for about an hour: you are such a star!), we ate pizza.
After you slept we played cards and had a great laugh at R.’s expense. He was soooo drunk, he was very funny. I couldn’t stop laughing. So despite the fact that earlier on in the afternoon I had had an eviction notice given to me by the housing association (my Housing Benefit has not been paid since January! I’ve written tons of letters, letters of complaints, filled in forms… They are just prolonging the process to make me suffer and give up, but I won’t, I am entitled to it) it was a pretty good birthday. I managed to forget all my worries for a while. Just what I needed.
Last Sunday was a beautiful day and we went out (R., me and you) all day. First we went to Camden, and your dad bought me my birthday presents (two pairs of trousers and a jumper). Then we went to Regent’s Park and walked everywhere, along the Thames… We were exhausted by the end of it. We got off at Holloway Road station at 6 in the afternoon and stopped outside the Tappit for a drink. Five minutes later Angela, Jenny and Tony showed up and joined us. They saw us from the bus and were screaming my name when they got off. So sweet… Then Sam and Matt (your dad’s friends, who he hasn’t seen for a couple of years) walked past. They used to live in the other side of London (Finchley) but are now our neighbours! She is an actress and he’s into computers. So at the end of the conversation I had arranged to e-mail my home page address to Matt and he’ll keep an eye for jobs.
On Monday you woke up with a funny rash. R. thought you had freckles (as if you could get them from one day to the next) and went to work. I had a good look at you and there were more of those around your neck. At closer inspection they looked like burst vessels, red-purple spots. I was trying to do the glass test (done for meningitis) on you but you wouldn’t stop moving, so I just took you to the GP. As you were in good spirits, no fever etc, he thought it was fine. But to be sure he did the glass test, and the spots didn’t fade! So he told us to go to Whittington Hospital, to the paediatric clinic, which does not need an appointment from 10-12. As it was getting late I just rushed to get a cab. I was getting worried by then. I got to the cab office and the lady said that there would be no cab for a while, so I told her I had to go to the bank anyway and would be back in 10 mins. I went to the bank and the cash machine had no cash! That Barclays branch only opens during term time (as it’s part of the university).
To get to another cash machine is quite a walk, so I went back to the cab office and waited for a little while. I was thinking that things were not going well. A cab finally arrived and we were off to hospital. Although it’s only 10 minutes drive away, the traffic was awful (as usual), so it took twice as long. Once we got there I had to take some money out and the queue was massive. Then it started pouring down, a serious thunderstorm! When I finally got the cash, the driver said he didn’t have enough change, so he got paid an extra pound for driving us up there.
Finally we got to the clinic. The GP had written a letter so I just had to give it to them. After a little wait your bottom started smelling and as I had left the GP directly to go there I had no nappies or anything else (like food). So I asked the nurse for a nappy and this way we jumped the queue, as she decided to weigh you given that you were naked anyway(8,995 kg!) and measure you (66cm which was wrong, she didn’t even do it properly). She then took your blood pressure, which was fine. She then fell in love with you like everyone else does as you are so irresistible with your big brown-green eyes and the intense look of curiosity in your face. I then went back to the waiting room and rocked you to sleep.
I phoned R. and left a couple of messages on his mobile (it was his first day at work!). The doctor finally called us in. After taking a look (we had to wake you up) and asking a few questions she decided that you would have to be admitted and given antibiotics until your results for the meningitis test were out (they take two days as they have to grow a culture). She also mentioned the need for a spinal tap. I was not happy! I didn’t want to stay in hospital and I didn’t want you to be given antibiotics without the need for it. We were talking for ages, and I was arguing out of desperation, as I agreed with her deep down: as we didn’t know whether it was meningitis or not, we had to treat it as if it was. Fortunately there were no beds around at all, so we got a little room for ourselves in the day care ward (Ifor Ward) which would be free until 6pm and we would see what we could get after that.
This particular doctor then left and another young doctor came over to tell me what had to be done to you. He said they had to put a drip on you for the antibiotics and asked me if I wanted to hold you, as a lot of parents find the experience very distressing. Of course I wanted to hold you, I would not have anyone else doing it but me. He also said that some blood would be taken, and if the results were good, we wouldn’t have to stay, but came back every day instead until the meningitis results came through (this should be on Wednesday, my birthday).
So he left us in the room to prepare the other room and I just burst into tears. I had just found out how scary being a parent can be! The doctor came back in as I was pulling myself together and we took you to another room, me sniffling, you totally innocent, not having a clue as to what was about to happen. As you are a baby, there’s lots of fat around you. This is very good, but makes it very hard to find a good vein! The doctor tried a vein, while I was holding your arms, and legs. The nurse was blowing bubbles all over us to keep you distracted. It was very hot! Anyway, he found a vein and put the needle in and you barely complained. I was very impressed. Only the blood clotted very quickly (according to the doctor, I think he just didn’t do it well enough) and you would need to have it done again!!!
The doctor called in the senior guy (Dr Chin, I swear that’s his name), who first tried a vein on the inside of your elbow. By this point you were getting pissed off and started crying. The nurse was blowing more bubbles at us, like mad, we were getting covered in bubbles! You were sweating a lot with the crying. Dr. Chin decided that one was no good either, so he tried your right hand. After a lot of screaming (I was getting distressed myself and understood what the doctor meant about parents fainting and not being able to handle the whole drip insertion process) they did it.
So, the drip was in, and they started collecting the blood for all the tests. Your blood is bright red, beautiful, and very healthy, full of iron. So, no problems there. It seemed to take them forever to take all the samples, but your blood wasn’t flowing easily. It just made things worse and you were just crying even more. When the monsters finally stopped I just put you straight into my breast and you calmed down straight away. Everyone left us alone in peace and after I fed you we moved back to our room. All we had to do was wait for the blood tests so we could go home.
It was 1 o’clock by then and I went to phone R. and let him know what was going on. I hadn’t eaten and the hunger just hit me then. R. said he would ring work and come straight down (what a way to end your first day at work!). We made our way back to the room and the nurse came in with the machine to give you the antibiotics. You were falling asleep on my breast and having the injection. I then had time to stop and think. I had a driving lesson at 5pm. My mum was coming around at 3:30 and she was going to be wondering what was going on. They wrapped your hand very safely and put a supporting ‘flipper’ on the base of your arm to make sure the drip wouldn’t come off. Your dad walked in with the look of fear in his face and a bag full of nappies and food for you. That woke you up! We just hung around for another hour or so, talked to the doctor, the tests all came back ok eventually. So we went back home.
We got home at 4 and my mum was just wandering the streets… We saw her from the taxi, which was lucky. R. didn’t go back to work and I went off to my driving lesson. Later on that night we had to try and get some urine off you for another test. So we were following you around the room with a little pot. You always wee everywhere when we are not expecting it, but surprise, surprise, there was nothing coming through. I had to sit you on your feeding chair and feed you while R. held the pot, and finally it happened. So we went to hospital on Tuesday for the antibiotics and then on Wednesday, when you were given the all clear! It was just some little viral infection they said.
