London 25/05/1990 Friday
Hello! First the financial news: I decided not to work at Joe’s shop anymore and spent two more weeks delivering the magazines and looking for night jobs in supermarkets. Last week Helena told me there was a job in the cafe/restaurant just about the opposite side of Joe’s shop. I went there and got the job, because Helena had been working there too, but she wanted to go back to Switzerland on Tuesday, and so I took her place. Before she went she trained me and yesterday I started working there full-time. I didn’t do very well, it was terrible. Today was a bit better but it’s so busy and I’m the only one supposed to take the orders – but everyone has had to help. There are three cooks (two of them nice, Greek and Turkish), and the owners, a Greek couple, and the woman who washes the dishes, also Greek.
It’s mostly working class people eating there and sometimes they are not very patient and take the piss out of me, as I’m still learning the job. I feel like telling them to fuck off sometimes. But I can’t.
Ah, on Monday David turned up at the cafe, with friends. I hadn’t seen him since he disappeared. He called me his wife and said he wanted to be my boyfriend again. I just laughed at his face. He said he was coming back later at 2. He came back but one of his friends started a fight inside the cafe! I just turned my face the other way and didn’t want to look at him anymore, then he just left. But I felt happy to see him, he’s rough but funny.
Gustavo and I are looking for a place but it’s not been easy. I’m sick of him, he’s a boring arsehole. But I’m confused. I hate him 90% of the time. We had sex a couple more times but neither of us wants it anymore. You might think I don’t want to because he doesn’t want to. Well, maybe. But I really don’t want to. Maybe if he said to me “Oh I really like you and want to be your boyfriend”, maybe then. I guess this means he is in control. But it won’t last. I’m really sick of him, of what he says and what he represents. We went to Camden Palace Feet First on Tuesday. I drank five whiskey’s and danced the whole night. I met an Italian guy (Marco) and talked to him a lot. Gustavo just stayed by himself. Marco wanted to kiss me but I didn’t let him, but he gave me his watch! Camden Palace is great!
Yesterday Gustavo and I went to see a flat and then went to visit Letitia. She’s going to Paris with Rob next week. Gustavo bought some hash from Rob and we smoked a lot. I went to bed at 3 and then off to work in the morning, half asleep!