RJ 31/03/1989 Friday
I’m shaking! My aunt went to Friburgo, and me and my uncle will go tomorrow. Gustavo came here around 16:00, we were about to have sex when I heard the door open! It was my uncle. I froze… I put my clothes on and asked Gustavo to be very quiet. I went to the kitchen to make my uncle something to eat, and he was recording a tape. He couldn’t see the corridor from where he was standing. I kept going to the kitchen to assess the situation then back to the bedroom to calm Gustavo and myself down. I gave Gustavo a book “Our Sexual Life” (A nossa vida sexual) to read, subtle huh? We were in this nervous conundrum for half an hour until my uncle sat down to eat, it’s as if he knew, he sat near the window where you can’t inside the flat. I grabbed Gustavo and made him leave by the back door – while pretending I was taking out the rubbish. We laughed so much when we got out, and he left. I sat on the bed and started reading this and Gil came in to ask if he could tape over a tape. If I had waited any longer it would have been very awkward. So much adrenalin!
To complicate things, Gino called me today, at lunch time. I couldn’t believe it. First he said he was in Rio and was winding me up. Then he said he got back to Brasilia on Sunday and he can only come back during Easter week, he said he called me lots of times but no one ever answered. Was I supposed to wait by the phone? He said he was coming after carnival and disappeared… We talked for a while and he said I’m his girlfriend, without even asking me. I am no longer his girlfriend, I never was, and now I have another boyfriend. But I behaved like a good girlfriend – I even said I got off with some guys, but nothing serious. I like him but he’s there, I’m here and if he didn’t get off with anyone it’s because no one turned up (I don’t even believe it’s true). But why not tell me? I told him! I cried a lot when we finished the call… I felt so sad, could it be remorse? I cheated so much on him! Rodrigo, Andre, George, other Rodrigo, Gustavo, Barbosa, Antonio… But why should I have behaved like a nun when I didn’t know what he was up to? If I had been sure and I knew everything happening in his life I wouldn’t have stayed with anyone, except maybe Rodrigo and Gustavo! I’ve been thinking so many bad things about Gino since he disappeared, I didn’t think he was going to call ever again.
My mother called me just now. She will arrive in April 13. Oba!