RJ 26/04/1989 Wednesday
I went to the cinema with my mum on Sunday, to watch Dangerous Liaisons, what an incredible film!
Gustavo called yesterday saying he hadn’t gone away and spent the weekend at the Ilha do Governador at a friend’s house (Marcelo) He decided to move in with his dad in Botafogo. I mentioned I talked to Gino and he said “I doubt you won’t stay with him when you go there” and I said “There’s no doubt, I will!”. He got really angry! And we had a massive argument. I threw at his face that we are casual and he can’t complain because it was him who wanted things to be this way and if he wants something casual so he can get off with anyone, then so do I!
But, no, he said if I stayed with Gino I better forget about him and that I was very cheeky telling him I was going to be with Gino (at least I’m honest). Then I said I was sure he never stopped being with anyone because of me, and he said he had. I said our relationship was a joke. In reality we are committed but we just won’t admit it. I wasn’t taking any of it too seriously but then realised he was taking it all seriously (he doesn’t play fair), and then he said this:
“Now, let me tell you, as your friend, as if I have nothing to do with this. If when you see him you still have feelings then do stay with him, otherwise, don’t!”
In the end I said I wouldn’t stay with Gino (yeah, right!) and moreover, he can’t get off with anyone. He agreed. So he fell in the trap he feared the most. He didn’t want commitment, but he has it now.
Because he’s going to live with his father we’ll barely see each other, there’s no way I’m not getting together with Gino because of him. The only way I won’t be with Gino is if I feel nothing when I see him. This is so annoying, I just want to see Gustavo every day. He said he was upset and wouldn’t call me again. Emotional blackmailer! I called him this morning and his sister said he’d gone to the beach, as his college is on strike as well as 90% of private schools. It’ll be two weeks since we have seen each other on Saturday!