RJ 23/05/1989 Tuesday – Cauterization
Went to the beach on Sunday with Zezé and Gil.
I met Ana this morning and we went to the gynaecologist for my cauterization. She came to give me moral support. So, I laid down with my legs open, obviously, and she started the operation. She nearly ripped me open. When the cauterizer went in and started to burn the sore I thought I was going to die and broke in a cold sweat because of the pain, which is like a really strong period pain. I felt this horrible pain for 5 minutes, but it felt like 5 hours. The whole thing took 20 minutes. I got up and felt dizzy. The Dr. forbade me to have sex, swim or exercise for a month. I have no intention of having any sexual contact until I got to Brasilia anyway, but not being able to go to the beach is not good. I came home nearly fainting with pain, but it was gone an hour later.
On the bus Ana said she saw Gustavo with a girl called Luciana , in Grajau, holding hands, and she thinks they are together. I went purple with anger. If he liked someone else why didn’t he just say it? Instead of giving me the ‘we just support each other’ line. He told me last time about the other Luciana, why not this time?
I started practising what to say to him when I got home “You two faced son of a bitch. Why not just say you were seeing someone else?… “ and so on. I decided to tell him to never contact me again. He called me at 14:30 and I couldn’t feel angry when I heard his voice. He asked me how the cauterization went and I told him… Then I asked him calmly “How is your girlfriend?” He went quiet then said “What girlfriend?”. He finally said he got off with this Luciana but couldn’t work out how Ana and Mauro concluded they are seeing each other if they only just got together on Saturday. I told him to stop explaining himself, as it’s none of my business. I invited him to spend a few days in Friburgo as Mrs Nina will come to Rio and only Maira and kids will be there. He said he might go. I must be really in love, it’s the only explanation. I think he is too, but doesn’t realise it.