RJ 22/02/1989 Wednesday
Marcos called me Monday and arranged to meet in front of Barra Shopping, near the Bradesco cash machine at 16:00. I got a lift with Eliana and my aunt, they were going to Freeway, but I only got there at 17:00, thankfully Marcos was still waiting and Zezé met him. We had a drink, walked around, played pinball, we couldn’t stop gossiping and catching up and then went to Barra Sul. Aninha and Zelia (his sister and mum) are going to move there but Marcos is staying with his aunt in Brasilia, on the 206, as that’s what he wants to do.
We had nothing to do, we had dinner and went to another apt. to pick up a radio and then he took me to the rooftop and we could see the landscape from the 20th floor. Amazing. We got back down and met Aninha, she went out with friends, it started raining and we went home. As soon as we got out of the lift, on the 18th floor, the lights went out. It rained and it was so windy! I can only imagine now many shacks collapsed on the favelas. Me, Marco and aunt Zelia talked until 2:30am when Aninha arrived screaming. She woke everyone up. She asked for a candle, and because she wasn’t coming up Marcos and I went down 18 floors so she wouldn’t walk up alone. I nearly died on the way up.
Today we went to the beach, the four of us. Ana went off for a smoke, aunt Zelia couldn’t cope with the sun. Me and Marcos were just catching the waves. Then Marcos asked why didn’t we get together without anyone knowing as we are in Rio. I wanted to a bit but I asked if him and Luciana are good together and like each other. He said he really does like her but said when I’m near the feelings he has for me come back. Marcos will never stop liking me, like I like Henrique. I said I didn’t want to go behind Luciana’s back, never, if we got together I’d never feel comfortable around her, it was bad enough what I did to Patricia, not doing that again to her sister! So no matter how much I wanted to get off with him I wouldn’t, I learned my lesson. I’m never getting off with my friend’s boyfriends, never ever again! [NOTE: I actually stuck to that promise for the rest of my life]
Marcos said he didn’t understand but he accepted it. I came back home at 18:00 because if I stayed there again I might not resist him. I feel lonely and having someone so keen on me, I might not resist and do something silly! Temptation got bigger after lunch so I decided to leave. I CAN’T GET TOGETHER WITH HIM!