RJ 11/01/1989 Wednesday
I’m getting mad at Gino, why hasn’t he called for fuck’s sake? Hasn’t he arrived? Either way he should have called me. How inconsiderate! Stupid Gustavo hasn’t called for a week. Is he fucking sulking? (what a dirty mouth I have, fucking hell!)
Today I was reading my diary from when I was in the 8th year. All I talked about was Henrique! I miss him. Fabiane, Daniele. I changed so much since then! Those days were good, I knew everything in theory, nothing in practice. It was in that year that I started to really like Henrique. And to this day I still like him a lot. I don’t get why I got scared and said no to him. Of course it was insecurity. No point in crying over spilt milk. When will we see each other again?
Indio came here at 5:30 to photocopy my organic chemistry work and I went with him to bring it back. I threw up the idea of him having a barbeque after the 15th and asked him what Gustavo had told him. Firstly he pretended he didn’t know anything; then he said Gustavo told him we got together, during the final exam week (we hadn’t had sex back then). But I wouldn’t mind so much if he told Indio everything. I know how itchy the tongue can get!
Later I went to Keyla’s to return Valeria’s clothes I had borrowed. How Valeria pestered me about this outfit! Did she think I was going to steal it? It was at the dry cleaners!!! I helped Keyla out a bit with the Chemistry assignment. I was so rude to her yesterday I felt bad and wanted to make amends. It’s not her fault she’s struggling with it. Although, if I can do it, why can’t she? She’s not retarded. Why does she have to depend on people for everything? She always copies everything from other people, so yesterday I got mad and started questioning why can’t she do the work on her own? I did this for her own good but I was too harsh. I find it hard to accept someone as nice as her depending on other people and showing no initiative. That’s her mother’s fault. I hope she gets over this because it’s not good. But I felt bad so I helped her out. And I don’t like feeling sorry for people. But I was too rude to her yesterday. For me, that’s my worst defect, I’m so rude sometimes that I feel disgusted with myself. Good night my people!