RJ 10/04/1989 Monday
I went to watch Rain Man with Silvana and Keyla yesterday afternoon. They ended up going out with the boys later on (Allan, Kiko, Barbosa and Marcelo) and went to Mamma Africa and met Deo. I nearly regret not going, nearly!
Gustavo called me first thing in the morning, he missed class and said he wanted to talk to me. I told him to come over then! He got here very quickly but during this time I was guessing what he wanted to talk about…
He just wasn’t ok again. We talked for ages. I was worried my family would be back soon from Friburgo, so we sat outside. He told me so much! And I told him things I never told anyone before, some hidden things. The issues with my mum, my craziness, my beliefs.
He completes me so much as he’s the opposite, but at the same time we are similar. What crazy ambiguity! But that’s love for you, multilingual!
Soon after he went (half noon) Maira, Gabi, Julia, Zezé and Gil arrived. Things with the family are very tense, crazy… Gustavo’s family madness doesn’t come close to mine. Mrs. Nina fell ill and she’s fed up with Maira, Julia, nappies. She hates cleaning and was in a foul mood… So she got really ill, a subconscious escape. Claudio was in Friburgo, on Saturday, when my uncle arrived, when my uncle saw Claudio he just left and only came back when his ‘servants’ (he’s a spoiled brat) asked Claudio to give up his right to be with his daughter and come back to Rio… Claudio was so humiliated he couldn’t even face Gil and demand his rights. My uncle is a petulant child. Zezé and Mrs Nina do everything he wants. He’s a disgusting child… I don’t know why he’s so devoted to spiritualism, just to use up his cornea, because he acts like a psycho madman. I can’t stand him.
My grandad Gennaro is still limp and grumpy. He doesn’t want my mum to stay with him. What a shitty, demented father. Why doesn’t he just die? He’s given all he had to give now he’s just a pain. Why do old people become so annoying? Why can’t they be understanding and young at heart?… pffffffffff (frustrated blowing sound).
Now Maira and kids are making everything chaotic, my aunt is going to go crazy and I feel sad watching everyone sucking her energy. Zezé doesn’t have a moment’s peace. Everyone is always demanding something from her all the time (grandad, uncle, cousin, my mum) . If I was her I’d tell everyone to fuck off. I haven’t seen her calm and relaxed for a while. I tried to help but sometimes I find myself exploiting her. Zezé has to say ENOUGH! But she’s comfortable and thinks no one can live without her (in a good way). She needs to be needed, I think that’s what it is, but even she has a limit!
In the middle of my exercise class at the academy Maira called me, saying she had a fever asking me to go home (Zezé was out). I ran home, but when I got there Zezé was back. I missed 15 minutes of class for nothing. Maira had a fever (40c), maybe the stitches are infected or her breasts. Maira was so ill. She shouldn’t have come to Rio.