London 02/12/1989 Saturday
David called yesterday at 5 and we went out to pay bills for the flat, the heating bill. I was in a bad mood and mostly ignored him. I was singing in Portuguese all the time. When we got to the place to pay the bill he was £6 short (the bill was £48). He said he’d drop me home, get the money and come back at 1:30. I got annoyed about going all the way to the shop for nothing, and gave him a look.
On the way back I told him I felt like I was about to explode, that I didn’t feel good and I didn’t know why. I was feeling so irritable, PMT maybe. Anyway I’m not a fool who is happy all the time. He didn’t seem impressed by my musings. What does he want, a doll who has no problems or feelings, who does whatever he wants when he wants to amuse him? Fuck off. Anyway, he dropped me off saying he’d be back at 13:30 and no sign of him yet and it’s 23:00 the day after! Not sure why, he’s just vanished, but to be honest, I’m really not that bothered. I’m a long way from having strong feelings for him… Maybe he’s found some other foreigner walking in the park. I’m now thinking that because he slept with me he’s not interested anymore, and if that’s what it is then good riddance!