RJ 07/01/1987 Wednesday
Today me, Nane, Maira, Gabi and some Ricardo person went to Barra. It was a beautiful day and as there was a bus strike I don’t think people went to work and the beach was busy! Full of gorgeous guys!
Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water, now I’m not sure where to stay. Maira and my uncle Gil have serious conflicts, perhaps for being similar, I don’t know. Today Gil asked Zezé to get some water for him and Maira told him to get it himself. Maira and I went to the bedroom and he started to complain to my aunt, then my aunt went in the bedroom to talk to Maira, then went off again, come and go, acting as the peacekeeper, trying to make one see the other’s viewpoint. Maira doesn’t accept Gil’s ways, because she’s so much like him. When you aren’t emotionally involved it’s kinda funny but awkward. They complicate everything, making the simple hard. Am I that systematic? Or just a stupid child? I don’t fucking know! It’s always the same thing and I don’t know where to hide.
Did you know that to this day my uncle can’t stand my mum? Doesn’t like her, talks badly of her (not in front of me, obviously) but he likes me, or pretends to. I do think he likes me. I mean he’s reserved, like me. It’s a weird atmosphere and I can’t be me like I can back home. This is the current picture: Maira and Gabi in the bedroom, Zezé in the kitchen and in the living room, all fresh with the fan on, is my uncle watching the match and me, writing in my diary, side by side at 22:25 Summer Time. Soon I’ll close my diary and go to the bedroom.
I saw Wagner today, I have a little crush on him. He’s a brat (a month younger than me) but he reminds me of Henrique, physically. Mentally I have no idea, haven’t spoken to him for over two years.