BSB 20/06/1987 Saturday
Wow, it’s been a while! I have so much to tell. I’ve been suffering so much in the last five days or so! I will tell you about it from the start. I started to go out with Gino because he insisted so much and I wanted to kiss him. After three weeks of going out he came here to study. We didn’t do a lot of studying, and I started to fall for him. On the 5th it was our first month anniversary and everything was going so well. On the 6th, Saturday, my mum went out and left me and Gino watching TV in the living room. She came back at midnight and went to sleep. Me and him stayed up until 4 in the morning, on the sofa. What happened was indescribable. We basically made love with clothes on. It was crazy and I don’t know how to describe it. It was beautiful!
On Sunday Negâo asked me why Gino was so in love, all he did was talk about me. I just smiled. The following week was awful. I think I felt insecure and everything was an excuse for an argument. I argued with him three times in a week. First time it was stupid, I was rude just because he was talking to someone and took too long to come and stay with me. This time I was an idiot. We got back together two days later. Next day, Valentine’s day, I called him to come out, but he didn’t for a reason that doesn’t matter. I was fuming. Next day I went out and he was in the I block and, according to Carlinhos, he was afraid to come and talk to me. I was with Renata and asked her to come with me. She started chatting shit, saying that if he wanted he’d come and talk to me, that I shouldn’t go after him, just putting stuff in my head. I felt like my pride, or I don’t know what, was hurt and I went home. Then Renata called him and he came and called me, and begged me to come down and I refused to. Renata was already scheming…
On this night when I didn’t come out, she was sat under my window with Gino, talking. I came down, fuming, walked past them, called Carlinhos and we smoked a joint, I went home and slept. Next day, Sunday, I called Gino to talk and sort things out. On Monday, I went out, I wasn’t talking to Renata, and I saw her and him talking in the I block, on the bench. I was watching the pool game and they both called Marcos, then Marcos came back and told me that he wasn’t coming over because of Renata, who asked him to stay with her, because we argued.
After half an hour Renata went home and he was walking to the I block, where I was, but I ran off and hid, and started thinking. I had a feeling Renata liked Gino and that she was putting ideas in his head, like she did with me. I went to talk to him. He said I had a bad attitude because of Renata and that he couldn’t even talk to her. I told him to go and talk to her for the rest of his life. We stood there quietly, he said he was going home and started to walk away. I was calling him to come back but he just kept walking with his head hanging low. I cried, complained… and went home.
On Tuesday, the 16th I went out for a change, and went to the I block. Then I see Renata and Gino, they got together! Renata said she adored me but she liked Gino and given that I had dumped him… I went crazy. When they left I went to talk to Gino. I asked him to come downstairs, he said no, ‘like you did the other time’. I asked him if he was going out with Renata, he said he wasn’t. I asked him if it was over between us and he said yes, because I was always picking fights. I asked if he didn’t like me anymore and he said he didn’t… He asked if I didn’t want to take a break. Of course not! I called him later… nothing!
On Wednesday I declared war against Renata. Everyone was against her and I realised how many people don’t like her. Went for a smoke with Pedro and came back. Renata and Rodrigo were waiting for Gino until 10:30, then Renata went home. I was just watching. Then Gino zoomed past on his bike and went home. On Thursday we got on the same bus but he just ignored me. In the evening I made peace with Renata and started my plan. As far as everyone knows I don’t like Gino anymore and I’m getting closer to William, who, by the way, is addicted to cocaine and I’m trying to help him. That’s my excuse to get close to William and make Gino jealous. Gino is mad at everyone. Yesterday he was going to the I block and I was going to the shops to buy cigarettes. Alexandra said he was angry and rude to everyone. Today he walked past Renata four times and only spoke to her once. He’s mad at me and doesn’t even say hi. I just pretend I don’t give a shit. And I don’t, I might even get together with William or Carlinhos.
Note: I caught him looking at me twice… Don’t tell anyone. I told Renata I never really liked Gino and started talking about Henrique. He must like me otherwise he wouldn’t be so hateful. He thought I’d be moping around, but I’m quite (pretend) happy.
I convinced Renata that we should be friends with Ana Amelia again, she was a bit cold, but I hope things will improve with time.
I was really depressed from Saturday till Wednesday, I was only checking in to see Gino. I spent a lot of time in the I block with Ascle, the other Renata, Carlinhos, Negão… Last night me, Renata, Rodrigo, William and Ceara detonated one (had a joint) and Negão started talking. His biggest wish is for me and Gino to be together, this made Renata angry and she cried. I asked Negão to stop saying nonsense and he said Gino doesn’t like Renata. Well, that much I know!