RJ 22/07/1986 Tuesday
The weather had turned. It rains all day and it’s cold. Romantic weather, but I don’t think anyone interesting will turn up. Wagner, Rita’s son, is attractive. Whenever I come here we exchange meaningful looks, but he’s been away and I only saw him once, from afar.
Maira, Ana (Maira’s friend) and I went to the cinema to watch “Com licensa, eu vou à luta”, a Brazilian movie, from a book I read. The movie is okish, by first time director Lui Farias. The sound quality, as is the case for most Brazilian movies, isn’t good. The book is marginally better than the movie.
My mum went to Sāo Paulo today, by train, at 11. I’m watching The Elephant Man in the bedroom. Jeison and I took her to the station. Before she went she really had a go at me. She said I had to go out more. Later she said I’m easily influenced. I smoke because my friends smoke, do dance because my friends do it, etc. I’m not like that!!! Well, of course I’m influenced, it’s a consequence of life. Only in total isolation can someone genuinely be oneself. In the same way people around me influence me, I influence them too. Isn’t man influenced by his environment? As long as I don’t lose my identity then influence is a part of life. So my stupid mum wants me to never change my tastes, be inflexible, that only I change people but not be changed by them??? She’s pathetic. She thinks she knows about psychology but doesn’t have a clue.