BSB 14/12/86 Sunday
My father called yesterday. I haven’t seen him for over a year. He’s so distant he might as well not exist, but I do miss him. From the little I know of him, he’s a good person, simply good. I feel in his voice that he wants to get close but he seems afraid. It’s as if he’s afraid I will reject him. Of course I’m not going to give him a hug, or smile at him all the time! But I’d like to spend some real time with him, I think our temperament may be similar in some aspects. Perhaps he doesn’t contact me more because of his family, I don’t know.
Either way, he can die in peace, as I forgive him. I may seem bitter about our relationship (or lack of), but I don’t feel bitter, or sad, or unhappy. Perhaps subconsciously I do…