RJ 30/01/85 Wednesday
Zezé is being weird towards me. I want to know why. Let me tell you another sad life story. It’s about Gina and
Bianca’s mum and dad. Regina and Marcio. They lived together for years. Marcio is an aeroplane pilot at
Varig, but he always said he had no money, not buying the girls any clothes etc. Because of his lack of money
they moved, in 1980, to an apartment that Regina’s parents gave them. They lived in a super cool flat at Quinta
da Boa Vista but they had to leave it behind (Zezé went out with Rita and Wagner came here just now to ask me
to play cards, I said I wanted to wait for Maira and that I would go later, but I won’t. Rita wanted me to go to the
movies with him but luckily I had seen the movie already). Last year Regina found out that he had another
woman. He had given her a wonderful flat and a lot more. Regina (who still loves the dog) got a divorce, as she
is a lawyer it was pretty quick. Marcio kept insisting that he wanted to get back together and she gave in. Then on
the New Year holiday they were all meant to go to Portugal, but Bia decided to stay with her boyfriend and Regina decided not to go at the last minute (I don’t know exactly why). As they don’t check the passport against the ticket, Marcio took his lover instead. So they separated again. . But then, two weeks ago (That’s real submissive true love) they got back together. I don’t care how much I love someone I would not go back. Unless he really insisted…
Jesus, it’s raining again. I don’t think I will be able to say goodbye to the beach at this rate. Sometimes it’s hard
having a diary and keeping on writing. Last week I lost the drive a little bit (I don’t even know what gives me drive
during the holidays, so I write bullshit or stuff that has nothing to do with my life). I guess I have a great need to
write (even if it’s shit). (Wagner has rang tile bell for the 3rd time, asking if I knew Marcio, Helena’s 10-year-old
son, I answered with a monstrous “Of course” and banged the door on his face. I’m not rude or anything but he
is getting on my nerves.) And while I have this great need to write I have nothing to write about, but while I
have any irrelevant subject to write about I shall keep on writing. I know that after the holidays I won’t even feel like writing because there is going to be too much to write about, but no time. I will try to carry on writing during term time.
I need to see a gynaecologist. My periods are as crazy as I am. The first one was on the 22nd of September, then 28th of December, this month there was only a tiny drop and then nothing. I rather it came every month, just a little bit instead of occasionally and like a river. Never mind, they say it’s like this at first, but it’s taking ages. I’m just
impatient, sometimes it can take up to a year to regulate, Maira said hers only became regular after she started
having sex with Jeison, and that was a year before she got pregnant. I can’t believe she actually got pregnant to
leave home. This is not a mature person’s way of acting, getting pregnant at 16. I don’t care how bad it was at
my home, I would never get pregnant or married to leave home, firstly I would sort my professional life out and
then, if I loved someone, I would get married or live together.
I gave 1,500 crz for Zezé to buy chewing gum as I am a bit addicted to them and the longest I can stay with a chewing gum in my mouth is 1/2 an hour. But if I can’t buy any I can keep the same one for 3 days by keeping it in the freezer whenever I’m not chewing. Yes, brother, I have two serious problems, 1st:; when I start writing I can’t stop. 2nd: when I write for too long my hand hurts like mad.
Wagner came here for the 4th time, when I opened the door he was with Marcio playing cards and asked to come in. I didn’t have the heart to say no and we played buraco. They are so silly, whenever they laughed at something stupid I acted really serious. When Zezé and Rita came back I had already thrown all the cards at Wagner’s face because he talked so much shit. Now it’s 6:01 and, thank god, they have left with Rita. Before they left they were talking and they said that the boys that fly tile kites on tile bus garage’s roof were threatened with a gun (how violent!) and if they were caught up there again. .. The blonde guy I like is nicknamed Pig (he’s not very tall and is 17 years old), he smokes grass(and?) and was expelled from school, back in Ecuador, because he destroyed it to bits. He did when we was on the 3rd grade and then came over to Brazil and was never accepted in any school. Rita reckons he is a criminal, but I still think he’s gorgeous, from a distance anyway. Just phoned my grandad about my glasses and they are ready, he also said there was no ticket for the 9th but he got it for the 19th at 22:00 hours.