Praia Brava 31/12/84 Monday
It’s funny how the eves of big days are more celebrated than the days themselves. It 10:15, still, and I’m here alone with D. Nina; Maira went to pick up Jeison at Rubinho’s home. Roni barks at the quietest of sounds and I want to spend New Year’s sleeping. A new experience? The truth is that I don’t feel like hugging anyone or dive in the sea (the loner spirit has taken over me, the worst of all is hearing everyone screaming, laughing, fireworks everywhere). I think I’m suffering from a bad mood attack (I promised myself to never feel this way again) but it’s not surprising really. For starters, this ‘wonderful’ (boring or optimistic women call it that) period. It’s more like I’ve got a haemorrhage, there’s so much blood. I have to use sanitary towels and then 2kg of toilet paper during the day.
At night I have to double it 3x, otherwise it leaks everywhere. I’m going to the gynaecologist (it has to be a woman) and if my hymen is flexible enough or far enough I will wear Tampax. They say that women in the old days didn’t know anything about periods until they had it, and they got really scared. I don’t even know when I knew but I’ve always known. But I think they overdone it with me (whenever I cough I can feel blood coming down).
Went to the beach just to look, but following Maira’s advice I went in the water. It’s meant to stop it, but only for a while. I kept going in and out of the water like a fool. The train is coming past. To make it worse (if I didn’t have my periods would I have loved it) there’s no water since yesterday. To make the inhaling I don’t even know where they got the water from. I didn’t have such a bad night last night; there was a bit of snot coming out occasionally, which I wiped on the pillowcase. It became disgusting. Then I leaked blood on my knickers and there was no way to clean them, so I just threw them away . .. Jeje found it all very funny, I’d like to see him having a period.
A lot of houses had no water so they opened the mains on the street. And Maira was using me as an excuse to go back to Rio. .. ‘Lele has a cold, a period, she can’t have a cold shower’. I didn’t say anything. Jeje, who didn’t want to go back to Rio solved the problem. He went to a lot of houses ‘borrowing’ water (together with Mauricio, a friend from Rio and Praia Brava). Then we made dinner at 6:30, my stomach was rumbling with hunger. And the bath? Jeje sorted it too. I was standing in the shower box, like an idiot and Maira threw boiled water at me.
Mauricio is 20 years old, handsome, with a beard, shame he is short. On 24/12 he went with Sonia (Maira’s friend) to Zeze’s place to wish Merry xmas to Maira and Jeison. As they took ages we were chatting. The last time they saw me was in 82 or 83, they didn’t even recognise me. Zeze had to remind them. Me, Sonia and Maira helped out at an orphanage but I was 10 or 11 years old then and suffered with the orphans. Loads of kids and I didn’t know who to look after. If it was now it would be a similar situation!), but I didn’t remember Mauricio. After they left my aunt said that he was flirting with me! Imagine that! A man of that age! If I wasn’t in such a bad mood I would probably think today was a funny day. But I did like today. When Mauricio was climbing the water tank (to get there he had to support himself on the bathroom window) Roni barked and I nearly died: as Mauricio was going up he broke the window.
I laughed so much. They made such an effort to make the water come out of the tap (even a German guy who had arrived from diving, wearing a rubber outfit, was ordered by Jeison to check his water tank and lend us a hose pipe to fill our water tank). There was no water in a lot of houses. but for a while all houses had time to fill their water tanks. We filled it here but it wouldn’t come down. They either haven’t paid the water bill or there’s a blockage somewhere. Or only the Colonel knows how to make things work in this house of his. I think we’re going to spend the New Year on the beach watching fireworks and freezing to death. There is a big moon tonight but very cold and if my cold doesn’t get better I don’t know. Happy New Year.