RJ 09/04/1988 Saturday
I feel emotional! Patricia and Luciana just called me. I love them! Rodrigo wrote to me but I’m not writing back, he’s dead to me for two reasons:
He told Renata we got together, showing he’s an idiot.
If Patricia was seeing Gino and he flirted with me I would ignore it. As she’s Rodrigo’s girlfriend and I love her too much I can’t do this to her. He’s not worthy even of friendship. Patricia is an angel and I hate that I did this to her, but I was so lost! Now my eyes are open.
They say real love is the one that comes and goes. So maybe I love Gino because I miss him so much. But in school I’ve been checking a few guys out.
I love Brasilia and I dream I’m there every night, sometimes good dreams, other times desperate dreams. In the bad ones I’m there but have nowhere to stay. In two dreams Gino was crying a lot asking for my forgiveness, being accused of something he didn’t do…
But I like being here. I’ve finally found God, my faith and a meaning to life. It could have been any religion but it was Spiritualism, which isn’t better or worse than any other religion but it seems the most truthful and broad. The most honest and real, with mysticisms or masks. Open, friendly and understanding, wise and eternal. Pure. The direct way to God. Long live eternal love! I’m an instrument of his work, his worker and available to him. Perhaps my life is about pilgrimaging around places, meeting and loving people. How I love the people I left behind!